It's definitely been a rough past few months, called off a wedding, moved a few different jobs, cut off friends, been dating ...
I can't begin to say how horrible and great at the same time it's all been. I'm struggling right now with some the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.
I am getting to the point is it worth it to continue being my age and do the drinking, the partying the smoking weed?
I have someone in my life that I can genuinely see a future with that I am willing to invest in and the hardest part is his own demons with using.
I've learned so much since I was 17 and truly I learn more each year, some lessons I'm not grateful enough for. Is love based on purely emotion or sometimes is that not enough to trudge through? I think that I have more faith in God than I have ever before. It may sound cheesy, but how else do people get through the ruts? I'm not saying that you have to believe in a god I pass no judgement on that..believing in something stronger definitely helps me feel like there is a brighter end of the tunnel even if I cant always see it.
I struggle myself with not smoking ganja and drinking to release myself from the down feeling, but that's how it all starts. I have been able to see as of late how badly a family of my own and letting go of those people who are ungrateful for your friendship is becoming so huge in my life. Each night I'm thankful for the day at a time that I have with the ones I love and I am hoping that with my decisions that I will only progress in happiness. Being in love can be the most trying things for any one person. I think it will be nothing, but worth it. You can't help, but do anything else and just love.

What a Slacker!!

Well shit what can I say been a little caught up in taking a HUGE break from everything since I finally finished school...so maybe we can't say I am a true slacker, but I can say I have learned a lot since I am finished with school.
I started working in Beauty shop which I thought would be such a great opportunity to grow and build a trust in my field. Unfortunately the ONLY thing I learned is that people are only about making money and I want to be new part of my generation and go out there and help people. I don't want to just sell because of the money, yeah it's nice to have stability, but lets be realistic how greedy can the world get. I felt bad when I had to talk so highly of products I didn't always believe in...than again that's life and another lesson learned you can't change people and the way things are ran, but you can always be honest and be true about your own opinions and maybe people won't like it.
I think in general nobody will ever be satisfied with their life if we don't gain some realistic expectations...If our expectations are realistic we can always over achieve, but if they are not we may always be disappointed when coming up short.
My sister Lindsay has been the role model of a life time for me. She's taught me to have strength and confidence in myself; I will achieve anything I desire if I put my mind to it and work hard. At My graduation we were given blue strolls to give to the person that was the most influential in our college experience and I gave mine to her. I have to say it had to be one of the most touching moments we have ever had. My family is so golden to me without them I dunno if I'd actually finish school. Now that I am done with school I think I have came to a better understanding and realization of what the world expects and what I plan on doing with my time.

OREGON...Take me Away!!

So ...man i really need to make sure I am posting more consistantly and wround the same time these events happen, but hey it's be crazy busy with school starting. I went to Oregon the night after my birthday party and I tell you drinking all night and then going to get on a plane couldn't have been more rewarding. My family decided to rent a beach house in Lincoln it was amazing!!!! We had a 5 bedrm, 3 bath house literally right off the beach...you walked straight out from the porch and down the wall to hit sand. If you have never been I highly recommend it....first night we sat around and drank a few beers watched the sunset behind the water....

The rest of the family took advantage of the moment and put together puzzles in the kitchen, went shopping at the outlets, or took off to win some dough on luck at the casinos down the street. I think I would love it there...to call home. I didn't get to see Portland this time around, but I am definately planning on going here again soon for a weekend. I think the best part about the beach is how clear your mind is to feel free and open. I was able to reflect without a single distraction. One thing that was absolutely killer was the rocks that came uncovered when the tide went low....there were soOOOooo...many starfish!!!! the size of my hand or bigger...granted I have a small hand, but it was killer.

The 22nd Year Has Begun

So finally my 21st year has finally passed and may I say that I am so very happy it did.

I can't tell anyone how much your parents are right about things changing when you turn 21. The whole comes at you differently and your mindset can either changed positively or intesify what it was before. I think that my biggest growing experiences came from this past year and from all the people I met, the situations were so diverse. Still the friendship that were struggling before are still hold strong and better than ever before...I had a wonderful party at Piper Down in good old Salt Lake City.

Although, I missed a few of my very close girlfriends my Zach and Mike still pulled through along with all my other very amazing friends and I couldn't be more thankful. I think we all go home at night alone and sometimes go for days without a wrod from your friends...I dunno about you, but sometimes I feel so alone. My birthday showed nme how wrong I really am about that, people may have thier own lives and schedules, but when they all pull through to be there for your day I couldn't feel more loved. Family and friends I tell ya are what make this world so

enjoyable...even several shots into the wind

.

A Friend's Loss

A good friend and coworker, Vince just lost his fiance in a car crash this week...they think she fell asleep at the wheel.
Here soon he is planning on a benefit show to help pay for any funeral cost for her family.

Vince is one of the nicest, caring people I know and is enduring such a hard time.
I will keep this post updated with the date of the event and any other information you may want to hear or know about. Please come support for a good cause and a great person.
May she rest in peace and the family find peace within their upcoming struggles.

VEGAS BABY!!!

OK OK it's been awhile eh?!? Ha ha so nobody, but maybe Kristeen would get that joke. I will make sure to get to the point and explain it after I first throw out a quick update...

YES I went to Las Vegas, NV this past weekend, NO I did NOT come back with a husband, proof of some ridiculous annulment, or any reasoning to think I am pregnant....

and for the record, unlike some ppl we were around I do remember EVERY detail of this trip.

So the whole purpose of this trip to Vegas was to go to a hair show and gain some hours for days that we had missed. (In case anyone is unaware, to make hair a career you must, in the state of Utah, have a total of 2,000 hrs on the lab floor it's bullshit...pardon my french)

The first night we we arrived and met up with my jackass ex (which I decided that after the trip) and all his High school buddies at the Artisan Hotel Lounge. The parking lot for two girls was extremely creepy, but inside it wasn't to shabby. In the bathroom they had those service ppl which I feel so disrespectful that I have no clue what the proper term for their job actually is, but my bad....

<--Adam is the one next to me, than Kristeen, and Matt.

Look kind of familiar? Adam and Steven are like twins separated in years of age...I mean EVERYTHING is the same..pathetic really. Any who I will get off my bitter trip....but here is why. We all finished drinking and hanging out at the lounge than Kristeen ( who I am so impressed by..) drove my manual car home, the boys went to the strip club, and I went back to Adam's room with him at Bally's. Idiot! I know...I know. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but acting like we're not friends he's immature. All in all we did have a fantastic first night and the next day Kris came and snagged me so we could go to the hair show and do some shopping on the strip. I think my legs still want to just fall off after all the walking they just throb! Has anyone ever seen the lobby or conservatory at the Bellagio Hotel?! Seriously here's a glimpse it was amazing! Life size and all creatures ...well almost all made out flowers....

Ok so back to my trip story since this is already getting way too long Kristeen and I went shopping all day sat and Sunday. After our shopping we decided it was our last night out on the town and we were going out end of story...not really. Kris wanted to see the Luxor and I Excalibur, lets just say they are definitely not as cool or as populated as they used to be. So we decided hey we'll go down to Bally's and than Paris.....I know another dumb idea close to Adam I think a little hope...retarded I know I am. Anyways we are walking through the Bellagio and on our way we see this group of boys and one (Geoff) asking these little old ladies to marry him. Much to his surprise the little old lady turns and says, " I am much too young for you". Made my whole night..or so I thought. We continued with this group of Canadian fellas to Caesars Place , played (and lost damn it) some black jack... found our way back to thier hotel at the MGM and played some more. Than we danced on the window seal to Michael Buble and talked all night long. We even received flowers!

We soon left after all the dancing and walking around, I dunno how you can go to a totally different city and find someone you can talk to with all the same beliefs, dreams, and ideas as you...let alone they are from an entirely different country!

I had the most amazing time, the next day we went to the hair show again after only sleeping three hours. The sun was already coming up when we had drove home from the MGM. Nothing was fantastic enough to buy at the hair show so we got our second day signed off and peaced out. I dunno if anyone has gone to convention shows, but truly one day is enough....I do like working food shows though mmMMm...free food. Before leaving back to Utah we stopped by the hotel again and met up with the boys said our goodbyes and exchanged information. I have every intention on keeping in touch. The only downfall of the trip was the debit you have to pay off, the ticket I got coming back, and realizing the things you already knew about ppl. Exes ARE exes for a reason....When will everyone understand that cus I always want to forgive for nothing. VEGAS ROCKED!!!

It was the vacation I needed and plus finally being the age to go and appreciate it is always a plus.

Friends Keep Life Interesting

It's been awhile since I've wrote I think I have just been in a funk. Oh well, So I brief update on life is that I leave for the amazing party city of Las Vegas this coming Friday!! I could not be more stoked for the mini vacation/school trip. We are heading down for a hair show..which I heard is pretty cool.
Anyhow I am excited, so the picture above was from about 2 weeks ago the amazing Sunday night karaoke get together we had so much contained in it. Chaddy went up and sang a little Love shack and I must say it was brilliant.

I must say the highlight of the evening was when Brandon (above), who is obsessed with Lady Gaga stop the girls on stage mid-song and started singing Bad Romance from behind the bar. Nothing is more entertaining listening to him belt out a perfectly in tune song while he is bar tending the customers. If not anything else this boy is very multi talented and keeps you on your toes.

The night continued after that with of us getting on stage at least once to belt out a tune. I have to say that a few chocolate cake shots, couple pitchers of beer, and my friends you have a night worth of entertainment.